Sunday, March 18, 2012

GAD, MDD and PPD Part 3

After my son was born I had bad anxiety for two weeks. I dropped a dangerous amount of weight in that time.

After those two weeks the anxiety subsided for the most part.

When my son was 15 months old I got pregnant with my daughter.
The pregnancy went well.
I gave birth to an amazing little girl who is now 3 1/2.

I was fine for the first 2 days after giving birth to her.

On day 3 the PPD hit and it hit HARD along with GAD.
I wasn't feeling well. I couldn't eat.
I couldn't sleep.

This lasted for about a week and after upping my dose of Lexapro I was basically back to normal.

When Ora was nearly two years old I got another horrible anxiety attack.
I felt like I couldn't handle it.
The toll on my emotionally and physically was too much, too hard, too painful, etc.
So I did what I thought was my only way out of the pain.
I overdosed on my medication.

I was rushed to the ER and after I became stable I was admitted to Highland Behavioral Center.
I was there for about 10 days.

I remember the first night there. I couldn't sleep. I was in pain.
My stomach hurt and I couldn't sit still. I cried and cried.
I told the nurses there that I couldn't sleep. That I was having anxiety and I NEEDED something.

They got doctors orders to give me a benedryl and an ativan.
After the ativan kicked in I remember lying there in bed thinking "wow, this medicine actually works." and falling asleep.

You see, I have the typical General Anxiety Disorder symptoms, but the ones that bother me the most are the aching stomach and the need to be in the bathroom all the time.
I sweat even though I feel like I am freezing.
I shake uncontrollably.
I can't eat or drink.
I can't concentrate or anything.
It's a miserable existence.

Well they got me stabilized on meds and sent me home.
I was doing great.
I was fine. I was so thankful that I hadn't succeeded in my attempt to OD.
Here are some baby pictures and video of when my baby girl was born since this is all about that time.

Cute. Tiny. I miss this.

This is my girl now :)

A Part 4 will come soon and that will be my last in this "series"!

4 comments: said...

Wow, that is very intense. For me my GAD is triggered (when off medication, though very rarely while on it) by crowds and people in stores if i'm alone. I get tunnel vision, I can't hear, it's like i'm under water, I can feel my heart beating in my head, I shake uncontrollably, sweat and loose sense of where I am. I can be in a store that i've been in 7 million times, but when I have an attack, I can't find the exit to leave. If I HAVE to go to a store by myself, I bring my Ipod, as that distracts me. Christmas time? FORGET ABOUT IT! Even on meds I can't handle it; way too crazy. I had PPD for 5-1/2 months, though didn't realize that's what was going on at the time. Thank you for sharing your story! It makes me feel so much less alone in dealing with these issues.

jessicaclarke said...

Following you back thanks for sharing your story

Big K Fam said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Following your blog now and excited to get to know you!

Viv at

Mikki said...

So glad you're doing well now! You're babies are beautiful :)

Thanks for joining Flock Together this week. I am now your happy GFC follower!